Valentine's day wank Lyrics

Valentine's day wank Lyrics

He's got a loaf of bread, a pint of milk
A bag to put them in
A bike to ride, a house to live
But he hasn't got a friend

He has a coffee table, some dominoes
A joke book on the shelf
But the punchlines have a special twist
When you're telling them to yourself

It's my own crippling shyness that I have to thank
That dealt this hand another Valentine's Day wank
Don't bother with a card, just the keys to the special bank
So the sperm can join up for my annual Valentine's Day wank

There's a film about him from MGM
That millions would've grossed
If they'd set another place
If they could've cast another port
At his lonely Sunday roast

And the actor found to play him
And who looked like him the most
Had passed away some years ago
And was now working as a ghost

You cannot harness beauty raw
When the more was never there
Daily chores last just one hour
When your paddock's cold and bare